Dude, where's my hat?
by Neongene
Summary: A parody of Dude, where's my car?. After a wild night in Goldenrod City Ash and Brock can't remember what they did. Most Importantly, Ash can't find his Pokemon League hat! So they embark on a mission to retrace their steps and at the same time findi


"Dude, Where's my hat

_"Dude, Where's my Hat?"_

The entire stadium was on its feet cheering and celebrating the victor, Ash Ketchum.He stood on a podium, a gold medal around his neck.One by one the Chairman of the contest came by and shook each trainers hand in turn.When he got to Ash, he gave him a heartily slap on the back and finger-crushing handshake. "Congrats! Young man, in honor of winning our tournament I would like to take you and your friends out for a wee bit of a drinky!What so ya say?!"Ash looked over to Brock and Misty."But aren't we a little young to be drinking?"The chairman was too senile and off his rocker and a complete drunk to care about age.Ash thought since it was a special occasion he guessed it wouldn't hurt anybody.He got of the podium and followed the old man out of the stadium.He beckoned for Brock and Misty to follow.The old man started talking loudly as they exited the stadium. "Alright LADS let's have a piss up! Let's get fit shaced!"He then turned to Ash with a very serious expression."but maybe I shouldn't be drinking, you see alcohol killed me first wife………I came home pissed and shot her! HAAHAA!!"He laughed boorishly and slapped Ash on the back."yeah….hehe, that's a good one"He looked over to Misty who was giggling profusely.("what can go wrong……")  **********10 hours later***********  ……….ooooooh god………my…head………" The closet on the far side of the room opened up and out tumbled Ash in a heap.He crawled across the floor rubbing his face on the carpet.His eyes were half shut and he wasn't wearing any pants.The smell and taste of feet was present in his mouth.He smacked his lips and rubbed the sleep out of his swollen eyes."eerrrrrrhhhhh……B….Brock……Brock! owwww……to loud…..."His head had the feeling as if someone was pressing a hot poker up his nose and grinding it around in his brain.He crawled on his hands and knees over to the couch where he found Brock sleeping.He was fully dressed, he smelled of booze and had a unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.Ash propped himself up and poked Brock in the ribs. 

"Brock…."

He cough and spattered up drool, his eyes fluttered as he gave Ash a goofy grin.

Ash poked him harder in the stomach.

"Brock!"

He jolted awake and looked around for the source of the disturbance.His blood shot eyes landed on Ash who stared at him sleepily. 

"plaa……………..*cough*…………am ..I..dead?….." he said in a raspy voice

Ash thought a moment.

"…nnnnnn…no"

"……..who are you,…..have I joined a cult?" 

"nnnnn…no…I'm Ash …remember?"

Brock sat himself up. "Ahhh…."

"so you do remember."  
"no……how was the situation, had….we been drinking?"

Ash gazed to the ceiling and rubbed his head as a small flashback occurred to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Delia Ketchum was kneeling on the ground outside his house.She had her arms outstretched as she smiled, coaxing a small child to come to her.

"come on Ashy! You can do it honey!"

A toddler wearing pokeball printed diapers slowly got to his feet and began walking hesitantly toward its mother.

"mama! Mama lokit!"

The little boy fell forward into his mothers waiting arms.They both giggled happily as she tossed her son in the air.

"you did it Ashy!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ash blinked and narrowed his eyes.

"………….no wait……that's when I learned to walk…………okay…here comes another one……"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"WHOOAAAWHOOOOOOO!!

Ash and Brock were at a hopping night club with the old man and Misty.The music was pumping and the bodies where moving on the dance floor.Ash, Brock and the old man where at to the bar slapping the table and laughing loudly.The bartender passed around shots of tequila to each of the boys.They each took their glass, slapped the bar table and slammed back the shot.They all quickly licked the salt on their hand and threw a lemon in their mouth.Ash cringed as he felt the combination of booze, salt and citrus acid attacked his stomach."thish ish the besht time I ever had. *hiccup*"Brock whapped Ash on the back and slowly raised his head to the tv set above the bar.The news just ended and to everyone surprise Jerry Springer came on.Brock pointed excitedly at the tv."okay okay! Every time a fight breaks out we drink ready!"

The Chairman and Ash drunkenly nodded and pounded the bar table. "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!"

~okay, welcome to the show, we're talking to…Stephanie who doesn't like her daughter in law~  
A women sitting in on the stage waved her finger in the air at Jerry

~she's my sons wife you got that~

The audience booed her.

~okay let's bring on Michelle!~

Immediately the two women made a run at each other.

"AH Fight!"

They all took a shot and sucked on a lemon.The two women made more attempts to take swings at each other every 2 seconds

"FIGHT!"

Ash took the bottle from the bartender and started chugging the whole thing as Brock downed one shot after another.He pointed back at the Tv. "FIGHT FIGHT"

Ash accidentally gulped down a glass of salt.He hacked it all up on the bartender and rinsed his mouth with another shot.Brock continued to shove lemons in his face.The old man snapped his head back to let the booze go down quicker. But he soon fell off his bar stool, incapacitated.As a commercial interrupted the show Ash and Brock slammed their heads on the bar and coughed up lemon seeds.

Misty, who had been dancing this whole time pushed her way through the crowd and made her way over to Ash and Brock.She tugged on Ash's coat. "come on Ash dance with me!"He lifted himself off the stool and was dragged into the dance floor. They both started dancing as the music pounded their eardrums.Their bodies moved in rhythm with each other as they got closer and closer.Just then Ash looked up to see Brock climbing on top a stack of speakers.Brock then started flailing his limbs in a pathetic means of dancing. Everyone stopped what they where doing to dumbly stare at Brock.Everyone in the club then yelled at him to jump off the speakers.

Brock was hesitant at first, he looked down to the dancers holding their hands up, ready to catch him.Ash and misty chanted along with the crowd to get him to stage dive.

Brock finally got up enough nerve as he leapt off the side. The entire club screamed and cheered as they all watched him plummet to the dancers below him.

"WHOOAAAWHOOOOOOO!!"

Suddenly the crowd below him parted as he fell past them.He slammed into the dancing floor with tremendous floor.Everyone went crazy as they all started dancing again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"when it comes to been drinking……I'd say...we had a couple……"

Brock slowly got up and yanked the cigarette out of his mouth.He stumbled around the room messaging his temples."this must be what a raging hangover feels like…….."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a matchbook.He flipped it over in his hand and read the label."Club Natchez………….what kind of a name is that?"He looked around at his surroundings.The hotel room they where in was completely destroyed.The beds were overturned, garbage was in the bathtub, their clothes were scattered in the kitchen and there were strange footprints on the ceiling.

After searching, Ash located a pair of pants and tried to put them on.He put his right foot in the left pant leg by accident and couldn't figure out why his other leg wouldn't go in."stupid one legged pants………….."

He stumbled over to the fridge to get something to drink.He reached in and took out a jar of jam."huh?"They both looked into the fridge and saw that it was filled with dozens of mason jars filled with different colored jams.Brock unscrewed the lid and dip his finger in it.He stuck it his mouth and licked it off. "mmmmm, boysenberry….wants some?"

As Brock scooped handfuls of jam in his mouth,Ash came to the realization that something was wrong."hey Brock………..we don't have any bread!………………..wait a minute………"he picked up a piece of paper next to the fridge."an order form for a years supply of jam?I don't remember that…………….but could it be possible that we ordered an entire years supply of jam? And then totally forgot about it?"

Brock stuck his tongue in the jar and lapped up the remaining morsels.His mouth had a circular ring of boysenberry on it as he thought about what Ash had said. "I'd say it's entirely possible…………………wants some."

"………………….shibby"

After their hangovers lessened and they gave the room a once over, it was time to get cleaned up themselves.Brock used an entire bottle of Listerine that he swished in his mouth and poured all over himself to get rid of the stench of booze.

Ash was standing in front of a mirror putting the finishing touches on himself when he noticed something, something that was….missing.He ran a hand threw his hair and it dawned on him.Brock walked up beside and checked his teeth in the mirror.Ash looked worriedly at Brock. 

"Dude, where's my hat?" 

Brock looked over at him, then at his hair, then at him again.

"Where's yours hat dude?"

"Dude where's my hat?….."

"………where's your hat dude?"

"_dude, _where's my hat?"__

"where's you hat dude?"

"did I wear it last night?"  
"…yeah I think so…….."

"….Did I?"

"not sure…hehe…hehe…..dude where's your hat?"

Brock started snickering 

"uhuh it's not funny, my hat is gone………_where's my hat?"_

"heeheecrrghheehee"

"Shut up dude!I don't know where my hat is!"

Brock began to pick at his teeth again. "so? It's just a hat."

Ash got defensive. "Just a HAT! That hat was an official pokemon league hat that I won in a contest!I had to send in about a million entries but I won! It's my favorite hat!"

Brock spread open his eyelids and inspected his blood shot eyes."why don't you just ask Misty where you hat is."

"Shibby!"He bolted through the door and across the hallway.He knocked on Misty's hotel room, he looked down and saw his fly was undone."oh crap….erghh, stupid thing is stuck."As he fiddled with his zipper a maid passed by in the hallway.She shot Ash a disgusted look and ran down the corridor screaming.Ash's face turned beat red as he kept trying to get his zipper up.He heard the door open and he looked up in shock to see Misty dressed in a beautiful nightgown, her hair was messed and she was looking incredible to his eyes."whoa………….um hi." Misty's eyes brightened, but then she looked down to where Ash's hands seemed to be doing something."Starting without me?"

Ash was incredibly confused but there was no time for that right now.He quickly zipped up his pants nearly missing his frank and beans."whoaa….to close for comfort."He looked back up to Misty who was now straddling the doorframe and was seductively rubbing the molding with her thigh."I knew you'd come back.I had a great time last night, Ashy"

"yeah It was fun, but I have something very important to ask you."

She curled her hair with her fingers and arched her back as she leaned up against the wall.

"sure, anything you want, gorgeous."

Ash became very serous as she held on to Misty's hand.Misty's eyes shimmered as she gazed into his eyes.

"have you seen my hat?"

At first misty didn't know how to react to that, but soon enough her face showed disappointment as she let go of Ash's hands and leaned up back against the wall.

"yeah, I saw it last night." She said seductively.

"Great! Where abouts?"  
"When I threw it in the corner of my room with reckless abandon during our height of passion." She said as she pressed up against him.

"huh huh, but Misty really, my hat, have you seen it?"

"errghh! You jerk! You had it when you left, ya happy now!"She whirled around into her room and slammed the door in his face.

He stood there, not knowing what to do next.

"…What'd I say?"

Brock huffed over beside him. "dude did she have it?"Ash shook his head.

"nah, I don't know where it is."Brock held up the matchbook to his face."what's that?"  
He took it from Brock and flipped it around in his hand."the answer to our questions."

Ash read the label. "Club Natchez……………….what kind of a name is that?"

***************** 

"hello? Is anyone here?"Ash and Brock walked into the club, although its not quite what they remembered it.The chairs were stack on tables, the dance floor had equipment on it.The bartender was gone and there were no people."hmmm…..this place was jumping last night" said Ash.Brock punched him the arm. "dude, the club doesn't start up until night……..doofus."

"you take that back………doo..doofus….." he stammered

Brock stepped back in fear mockingly."whoa! That wasn't even clever or nothing!"

Ash raised his fists."you wanna go!"Brock grabbed Ash by the scruff of his shirt and pulled back his fist.Before they could go at it, someone popped up right in front of them.

"Heeeelllllllloooooooo!! And welcome to ze Club Natchez!I am ze owner of de club, cchhhhhhuan Natchez!"The two boys lowered their fists and turned to face Chuan, a big, fat, horribly dressed Spanish man.

Suddenly Chuan looked surprised.He reached out and slapped both Ash and Brock on the back. "Boys! You've comen back to ze club! I so happy! You were the stars of the dance floor last night.Pure entertainment and I……………..did you touch my ass?"

Ash looked confused than disgusted. "no………why?"

Chuan reached out and pinched his cheek."no reason, you can if you'd like though"  
Ash looked back at Brock who shook his head."no thanks…………we'll pass…………have you seen my hat?I think I might of lost it here last night"

Chuan looked confused."hmmm, I could check wif Rick, he is the head caretaker.He may have foun'dit"He showed Ash and Brock to the bar where Rick was smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of wine.Chuan placed his hands on his hips."Rickie, you are supposed to be a working now."Rick removed the cigarette and blew smoke in his face."I'm on my break…….and since you're here, I think you should know.You wine taste's like water."

Chuan looked at him strangely "But Rickie, you smoke like a bazillion cigarettes a day you can't taste anything!………….what's that?"  
"what's what?"

"what's that your eating?"

He looked down to see a Rick holding a small round brown object with huge bite marks in it.

"I don't know, it's some sort of delicious biscuit."  
"………….it's a coaster.."  
Rick inspected it."really?Are there any more?"

Chuan stared at him dumbfounded."……..Rickie have you seen a hat laying around?"

Rick took another puff of his cigarette and looked over at Ash and Misty.He blew out another cloud of smoke and pointed warningly at Brock."that's the guy who dented the dance floor!" 

Brock laughed uneasily as he recalled the event."hehe…..sorry."

Chuan whapped him on the back."is okay! Hey Rickie have you seen a hat or not?"  
He wheeled his bar stool around and stood up, he distinguished his cigarette and walked over to them.

"I haven't found anything, but you two have cost me a lot of extra work today that I don't need.I saw you two leave last night, you were with him, a girl and a old man.And if I recall, you had a hat on.So why don't you get out of my site and go check somewhere else because I'm to damn busy here!"

Chuan crossed his arms."did you touch my ass?"

Rick's eyes twitched as he struggled to keep under control.

"Because you can if you want to."

Rick threw is hands in air out of frustration.

"NOBODY WANTS TO TOUCH YOUR ASS OKAY!"

Ash and Brock hoofed it outside to avoid another confrontation,

*************

Outside of the club they both wondered what to do next."Where could my hat be?!"

Brock rubbed his stomach."that jam didn't do anything for me, how about breakfast?"

Ash agreed but before he could say anything a women ran up to Brock.

"Is your name Brock?"

He immediately went girl-goofy as he ran a comb threw his hair."yep!"

Ash cringed as he saw the women reached back with her hand, make a fist and connect it with Brocks face."HOW DARE YOU DO THAT! YOU PERVERT!!"

Ash stood there, nervous about what might happen next. ("is she going to punch me to?")

Luckily she stormed off through the gathered crowd leaving Brock lying in the street with a bloody nose."well, I don't know about you but I could go for some waffles."

Brock steadied himself on a lamp post. "…………………..with hash browns?" 

"………………………….shibby!"

********2 hours into the search******** 

Ash and Brock sat in a café just polishing off their breakfast.Ash reached up and rubbed his head, not used to not wearing a hat. "where could it be?"

Brock was sticking napkins in his nose to try and stop the bleeding."what about that old dude who took us out…………what ever happened to him?"

"don't know……..what if he has my hat!"

Brock finished off his waffles when out of nowhere a young girl walked to their table and glared at Brock.

"are you Brock?"  
He stared at her confused, at what just transpired moments ago, he didn't know how to answer. "………who wants to know?"

The young girl quickly grabbed Ash's drinking glass and threw orange juice in brocks face.She snubbed him and stormed away like the women did earlier.

Ash looked at his glass. "this is horrible"

Brock whipped his face off. "I know, what could I, What could we have possibly done?"

Ash stared at him confused."hmmm? No I meant I never got to drink my orange juice."

"..oh"

Ash quickly waved for their waitress."scuse me miss, do you know the name of the chairmen that held a tournament yesterday do you?"

The waitress though a moment."oh yeah, his name's Mr. Redundant. He comes in here all the time"

Ash looked as if he just smelt a huge fart. 

"what?"  
"As matter of fact he sitting right over there."The waitress pointed to a table across the diner and sure enough the old man was sitting there nursing a cup of coffee.  
Ash looked back up to the waitress."yeah that's great but…..what did you say his name was again?"

"Mr. Redundant………..Why?"

"………………..nothing………..could we get our bill please?"  
"sure" she flipped a piece of paper on their table and tucked her tray under her arm.She was about to leave, but she came back and slapped Brock across the face for good measure.

Ash booted it over to the table where the old man was sitting.He landed in the seat across from him. "Hey! It's good to see ya again, you remember me don't you?"

The old man slowly raised his weary head as he gave ash a small toothless smile. "ahhh, it is you.I had a good time with you boys last night. Being with you kinda reminded me of when I was younger and I spent time with my dad."

He took another sip of his coffee and stared into space.

"ya know I loved fall when I was a kid and my father would always rake the leaves into a neat little pile.And when he was finished I would creep up out of nowhere and I would run and I would jump in and I would scream 'whooopiee!'and 'yaaaaaaah' *sigh*…………..and them my father would come and drag me out and……..brush off the flames…….."the old man smiled and took another sip of his drink.

Ash narrowed his eyes and grabbed onto the old mans hands."please sir, have you seen my hat?"

The old man didn't answer as he continued to stare into space.

"My father was a religious man and he say to me…..'Compllete…….do you believe in the lord.And I'd say 'yes dad!' and then he'd say 'then stand up and shout hallelujah!' and I did…… and I fell _out_ of the roller coaster…..."  
The old man drank more of his coffee.Ash leaned forward and smelled his glass.

"you have rum in there, don't you?"

The old man sighed and ran his finger around the rim of the cup.

"I remember back when I was a kid my dad asked me to pray to the lord for what I wanted most. And when I was a kid I wanted nothing else then to have a bicycle.So I prayed to god that he would one day give me a bicycle………….but…….we all know the lord doesn't work that way."

Ash nodded his head as the old man drank the rest of his coffee

"So I just stole one and asked him to forgive me…………"

Ash looked as if he just smelled a huge fart. 

"wait…………back up…………did you say your first name was 'Compllete'?"

"yeah…..my middle name is Lee"

Ash leaned back and thought a moment.

"so ………….. your full name is…………...Compllete Lee Redundant?"

The old man nodded with his eyes blood shot and half open, obviously he was in a drunken stupor.   
"look, have you seen my………aw forget it!"

Ash left the old drunk to ramble on by himself as he went to retrieve Brock. To his surprise Brock was pinned up against a wall by a swarm of young women threatening him."My name isn't Brock it's……Mr. Snrub! Yes that will well do nicely…." The mob of women didn't buy it as they began kicking and punching him.Ash knew he had to do something.He flew over to the entrance doors and shoved them open. He stuck is head out the door and looked back at the mob of women, pointing excitably outside."Fabio just walked by the diner!"The entire crowd stopped and stared at Ash.They shouted 'Fabio! Fabio!' and those where just the men.Everyone cleared out of the diner and ran down the street screaming.

Brock fixed his clothing that had almost been torn off from the attack.

"thanks dude………..let's just go back to the hotel.This is Goldenrod City; your hat could be anywhere.Just give it up ."

Ash sadly turned his head to the ground."yeah your right." He looked back at the old man who was still grinning like an idiot as he still had a blank stare. 

"…….oh I get it…brush off the flames………..that's funny."

*************1 hour later************** 

"I'm sick of walking dude………..my head still hurts."  
Ash leaned on a street sign and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

"We need a ride."They both heard the sound of a motorcycle as they looked up to see Officer Jenny.Brock ran into the street waving his arms."Officer Jenny! Officer Jenny!"She continues to drive down the street at Brock.He turned to Ash."she'll give us a ride."He looked back and saw the motorcycle swerve to the right and come barreling down at him. "Officer Jen..***THUMP***"****The motorcycle slammed into Brock sending him head over ass above Officer Jenny.He smacked into the pavement and rolled onto the curb.

"She must not of seen me"

Ash looked back down the road and saw Team Rocket in their jeep.

"hey it's James and Jessie!"

He to ran into the road and waved at them."Team Rocket! Team ***THUMP***"

He flew through the air and landed on Brock.

"oww……maybe we should just walk dude."

"yeah…"

They stood up and brushed themselves off.Just then a white unmarked van pulled up, they were both forced in as it drove off."HEY! WHAT?!"

Bags were thrown over their heads and their hands were bounded."what's happening dude!" Cried Ash.

"I don't know!" screamed Brock.

A few minutes passed until the van screeched to a stop and their assailants hauled them outside.They were forced to stand straight as they took off their restraints.They bags were lifted and Ash and Brock were able to see what they had gotten themselves into.

Surrounding them were dozen of men in black suits holding semi-automatic weapons.There were on the outskirts of goldenrod on the side of a road near a forest."…dude?"

A man in a white suit with a jacket hanging off his shoulders stepped out in front of them.He threw his cigarette into the ground and stared down Ash and Brock.

"so, we meet again…..do you think you could get away from me?What about our deal?"  
At this moment neither of them could think straight.Brock leaned over to ash."what did we do?" he whispered.They both heard a gunshot as they snapped at attention.The mysterious man held a gun in the air, the barrel was smoking.He re-holstered it and walked up the boys."where is the shipment?"

Ash was wide-eyes as he thought of possible reason he could give for not knowing what he was talking about."what kind of shipment..d..d…drugs?"

The man scoffed."Drugs? What kind of person do you take me for…….I'm talking about……scotch."

"the alcohol?"

"no……scotch tape.Where is the shipment?"

Before Ash could answer he heard a rustling come from the forest.Suddenly Police jumped out of the thicket and stormed the men.They all quickly dropped their guns and raised their arms. One after one the policemen and women handcuffed and grouped them together.While this was going on Brock and Ash quietly snuck behind the van.From there they could hear what officer Jenny was saying to another cop. "We've been looking for these guys for the longest time. They are the biggest scotch tape counterfeiting ring in the country.It makes me sick.Luckily their own poorly made product was their means to an end.You see I happened to use their tape hanging up 'wanted' posters.5 minutes later the tape game undone from the wall and all the posters fell onto the streets, all over the city.No longer will offices and work areas be plagued by worthless scotch tape."As they heard her leave the area, Brock and Ash leaned on the van and sank to the ground.

"whoa dude…………..what did we do last night?"

************30mins later************

Ash and Brock were walking the trail back to Goldenrod just escaping being seen at the police raid.

Ash walked with his hands in his pockets and kicked at the ground as he walked. 

"dude, let's recap….we went to a club, got drunk, we posed ourselves as leaders of a national scotch tape counterfeiting ring, you've managed to insult every women in the tri city area, got hit by cars, bought a years supply of jam, trashed our room, I woke up without pants on and my hat is still missing."

Brock remained silent.

"I wish I could remember what happened…………maybe Misty knows what we did."  
Ash stopped walking "oh my god………..Misty…….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_"Great! Where abouts?"  
"When I threw it in the corner of my room with reckless abandon during our height of passion."_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he passed out, falling in heap on the trail.

Brock kicked him with hi foot. "dude? You okay."

Ash bolted to his feet sweaty profusely."Misty! Did I? Did we? How could this have happened!"

Brock grabbed onto Ash's shoulders and tried to shake him out of it.

"dude!"  
"dude!!"

"DUDE!"

Ash looked at him in shock.

"……..dude"

Ash put his hands on his hips. "well, you got a point there."

*********back at the hotel*********

Ash and Brock opened the door to their hotel and flumped down on the couch.The both released a massive sigh as they sunk down into the fabric.

Brock looked over at him."you want some more jam?"

"shabby…..I mean shibby"

before Brock could get up someone yelled. "catch!" A mason jar flew through the air and belted him in the head.He flipped over the couch backward.Ash screamed as he looked up and saw Misty.He scrambled to his feet and ran to the other side of the room."I didn't mean to do anything and I'm sorry if I took advantage of you!"Misty gave Ash a confused look."what are you talking about."

Ash narrowed his eyes and looked around him unwearyingly."um….didn't we…..you know…rock the casaba?" 

Misty laughed, directly at Ash."Of course not! Don't you remember?"

Ash shook his head.

"both of you don't remember?"

Brock gave her a goofy grin."nnnnnnnnope."

"we should have a little talk."

They both excitedly jumped on the couch ready to finally get some answers.Brock quickly raised his hand." I have a question…….why do all the women in the city hate me?" 

Misty laughed again.

"well, you are Brock.But you did something to one women that made all women hate you."

"what I do?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Back in the night club the music blasted from the speakers above as people danced the night away. Brock was in the middle of chaos and was dancing by himself.Then from across the club he saw a beautiful girl leaning against the bar.He set his girl-mode into action as he made his way over.The young girl seemed to be waiting for somebody as she continually looked at her watch.Brock walked up beside her and scoped her out."hey baby, if I were captain Kirk and you were my phaser I would set you to stunning!"The young girl was not impressed as she tried her best to ignore him."...girl your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"Again, no reaction.He reached out his hand."My names milk, I'll do you body good."The young girl had enough.She pointed to another girl in the dance pit.

"you'd have a better chance at her, you see, I'm a lesbian."

Brock thought a moment. "Really? What part of lesbainia are you from?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He rubbed his hands in his face as he leaned over on the couch.

"please tell me I did not say that…"Misty nodded. 

"yep.""I mean what kind of a pick up line is 'my names milk I'll do your body good'?"

Misty sweatdropped."_that_ little blunder filtered through every women in the city and they tracked you down."

Ash was getting annoyed he had only one question to ask her.

"Misty, where did we get a lifetime supply of jam?………..no wait! That's not what I wanted to ask…………what……happened between us?Why wasn't I wearing any _pants? _And…………where is Pikachu?"  
It had never really hit him until now.All day Ash was to busy figuring out what he did that he never thought about where Pikachu might be.

"DID I LOSE HIM TO!"

Misty shook her head."no, Pikachu has been at the pokemon center all day, you took him there yourself last night after……..you left my room."

Ash leaned forward and held Misty's hand. "what did I do?"

"well………"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Ash stumbled into Misty's room and fell over as he attempted to hold the door open for her. "shhhorry, bout that."

He then fell over onto the bed and patted the spot next to him for her to sit down.

Ash nervous twiddled his thumbs as he thought of what do to next, of what to say.

"Misty, I may not remember this in the morning…but……..I think you're the greatest………I love ya. Always have…………have you *hiccup* ever felt same for me?"

Misty smiled and wrapped her arm around him, mostly to try and steady him.Misty had had a few drinks, but not as much as Ash of Brock.

"I've always loved you to, but I wish you could of told me under different circumstances……..but what the hell."

She grabbed Ash's face and kissed him passionately.She slowly released Ash and blushed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ash was silent, Brock was curious, and Misty was embarrassed.

He courageously reached out and took Misty's hand again, only more gentle.

"Misty, I may have been drunk off my ass, but what I said, I really meant it."

Misty was beaming as she squeezed his hand in return."aww…..Ashton"

Brock raised his hand again. "but why was Ash not wearing pants this morning?You two didn't….you know?"  
Misty reached over and poked him in the nose.

"Okay, this is what happened after our odd confession……

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Back in Misty's hotel room, the lights were off, music from a radio softly filled the air.

Ash and Misty where lying on the bed.Ash had his arms around Misty, in the 'spoon' position…

"Spooned?! All we did was spoon?!"

Ash jumped up happily and high fived Brock, he then calmed down and looked confused.

"all we did was spoon?"

He felt an odd combination of emotions.He was happy but somewhat disappointed at the same time.Misty crossed her legs."can I please finish the story?"  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Minutes passed until Ash released Misty and got up.She looked worryingly at him."What's wrong?" Ash walked into the bathroom and turned on the light. 'Just getting a glass of water." 

He fiddled with the knobs but nothing happened."what the….." he leaned in and pulled the knobs up.A blast of water shot out and splashed everywhere."WAA!"he quickly turned it off and looked down to see his pants where soaking wet."aww…come on man…"

Ash walked to the kitchen area to look for a towel.He eyed the fridge and got an idea.

Misty watched as Ash undid his belt and slipped off his pants."what are you doing?!"

Ash drunkenly shushed her as he neatly folded his pants and opened the freezer.

"here's my idea, I'll put my pants in the freezer and in the morning, I'll have a pantsicle…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"I put my pants………in you freezer?" 

Misty couldn't help but giggle.

They both rubbed their eyes and sank back in the couch out of embarrassment. "I am never drinking again" said Ash.

He stood up again and paced around the room. "but where could my hat be?"

He turned around as he heard a door open.Looking down he saw Pikachu walk in through the front door.He was wearing Ash's hat."

"MY HAT!"  
"pika?"

He ran over and grabbed Pikachu and hoisted him in the air."you found my hat! Thank you!"

Pikachu raised its eyebrow. "pika?"  
Misty walked over and tapped him on the shoulder."you're the one who gave Pikachu the hat."

Ash sweatdropped. "…..what."

"you did it last night after you left my room, you said you where going to get Pikachu to the pokemon center before it closed….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

"welcome to the……….um, can I help you young man.?"  
Ash was still in a drunken stupor as he tired to hold it together.He nonchalantly walked up to the desk carry Pikachu, falling over numerous times beyond his control.When he finally got there, Nurse Joy was not amused."Here………Nurse joy please to be taking my pokemon?"

Nurse joy slowly took the pokeballs from him looking quite shocked at Ash.

He placed Pikachu on the counter and took off his hat. "Here buddy look after my hat for me……" he stuck it on Pikachu's head who tried desperately to hold it up without it falling over its face. Nurse Joy leaned over the counter looked at Ash.

"Excuse me, would you mind telling me why you are in your boxer shorts?"

Ash thought a moment and tried to keep him self vertical at the same time.

" I have misplaced my pants……………"

Pikachu pulled the hat over his face out of embarrassment. "chuuuuuu…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

**Authors notes:** Well there it is, I hope that got a laugh out of you, and I hope you liked that better then the actual movie.Questions and concerns should be e-mailed to me.but please review and tell others about this daunting experience.

I would like to thank Mito for the inspiration, true our idea's were different……mine was actually good. Hehehe. Just kidding Mito! ^_^ Mito was the one who gave me the challenge and made the gears in my head spin as whips of smoke poured out of my ears. (I really should oil those damn gears)

I do hope that if you liked this story you will read my other one, called . 'Between a Rock and a Hard Place'I has it's moments of humor but it also has drama, adventure and romance.I hope you have enjoyed reading this Fic, surprising to me I got it done in 3 days, I never dreamed it would go to 14 pages…………oh well, I do get carried away sometimes.

Neongene, 

Fanfic writer, anime enthusiast, and collector of very small rocks. 


End file.
